FOR PARENTS

TIPS FOR DEALING WITH YOUR HYPERACTIVE KIDS

Every child is unique. All children come with their own set of emotional needs and preferred ways of learning and interacting. And yet, in our SI practice, we have noticed certain ways of dealing with hyperactive children that tend to have a calming effect. We invite you to try these techniques at home and to notice which ones your child reacts to most favorably.

In addition to using the therapy techniques at home, the techniques described

here can be used at school. Teachers usually need an introduction to this approach and certainly need to be open to trying a different approach in their classroom. Many of these techniques are basic techniques used frequently in special education, and it is possible that your child’s teacher is already using them.

The techniques challenge your child to grow, but do so in a fun and childfriendly

way. If you as a caretaker or a teacher are open to trying new ideas, we think you will find these tips have a positive effect on your child.

Communicating

The bonding between parent and child, the relationship between teacher and pupil, and even the connection between animal and child needs a good foundation before it can occur and be fruitful. Sometimes with a hyperactive child, communication is disturbed because the child’s attention is so flighty.

 “Did he even hear what I said to him?” you might ask yourself when you see

the child is already out of the room.

Consider the following suggestions:

Ø  Look your child in the eyes before you begin speaking. If this is not

possible, make sure the child is looking in your direction.

Ø  Use the child’s first name before you continue with a question or information.

Do not continue until you have the child’s attention.

Ø  Touch the child to get his or her attention. Do not do this if the child has a negative reaction to touch, because you will possibly put the child in such a state of alert or flight, fight, fright, and freeze that he or she is notable to pay attention to your voice.

Ø  If you want your child to look at something, begin the sentence with “look” and then wait awhile.

Ø  Using the same approach, say “listen to this,” “feel this,” “taste this,”

or “smell this.”

Ø  Talk calmly and use short, easy-to-follow sentences.

Ø  Be direct. It is easier for your child to understand you if your speech

has clarity.

Ø  Limit choices to two or three options.

Ø  As much as possible, treat your child in a positive way. “That’s great that you can do this already!” is much better than “When I was your age, I could do that already.”

Ø  React calmly but enthusiastically when a child accomplishes something.  Sometimes merely saying, “Good job!” or “Great!” is enough if said in a happy voice. Remember it is the effortyour child puts into understanding your message or performing a task that is applauded.

Ø  Reprimands are sometimes necessary. If you must reprimand your child, do so directly and immediately. Be clear and determined. Try not to be emotional, fearful, or angry. Time-out sessions can be very short —three to as many as ten seconds works.

Ø  Devoting fifteen minutes a day entirely to your child can accomplish wonders. If your child will curl up next to you or sit in your lap, this can be a good moment to discuss emotional issues. Your therapists may have additional ideas about using a “sensory diet” to help your child become even more organized throughout the day.

Ø  Continue to read educational books for yourself, such as this one, that present methods of dealing with hyperactive children.

Organizing the Day

Determine if you can organize your day around the following points:

·        If possible, organize the day in a way the child finds easy to accept.

·        Get up early to avoid rushing in the morning.

·        Build a few quiet periods into every day, both for yourself and your child.

·        Every now and then, make time to be alone with your child; for example, go for a walk with the child instead of with the whole family.

·        Structure does not always have to do with time, but rather with a determined order of things and events. This can change from day to day, but your child can count on generally knowing how the day will proceed before it starts. However, too much structure can make a child rigid and imprison a family. Try to find the structure that fits your family.

Fostering Calmness

As you work with your child, train yourself to radiate calmness. In order to cultivate a calm and alert attitude, you may find it helpful to take up a sport or practice yoga, tai chi, or qigong. Or express yourself through a hobby. You may be able to calm your child in the following ways:

§  Identify your own emotional state and attend to it, as necessary.

§  Give the child a short (i.e., ten second) time-out. This is not punishment, but rather a moment that allows the child to get himself or herself together. It would also be helpful for you and your child to do deep Breathing during this time.

§  Lower your voice (i.e., speak softly but audibly) and breathe slowly even though the atmosphere has become chaotic. Your child will automatically breathe along in the slower tempo and become calmer.

§  Your young child will become calmer if you hold his or her hand firmly in a friendly way. It can also help if your child is holding something in the other hand (e.g., a teddy bear or a ball).

§  Place your hand on your child’s shoulder or another acceptable place. Gently holding it in one position can promote a restful feeling.

§  Let your child push his or her hands together and apply strong pressure on the palms.

§  If your child is really restless, try giving him or her a strong, calm hug; place both arms around your child and hold him or her firmly against you.

§  Use your hands to apply firm pressure on your child’s shoulders or apply a series of ten short pushes downward on the shoulders.

§  If possible, make the environment as quiet as possible. Turn off any loud music or play quiet classical music. Many children find listening to Mozart very relaxing. Turn the TV off or turn the volume down. Busy, hectic images can agitate your child, so look for soothing images.

§  Rock your child slowly on your lap, in a hammock, or on a swing.

These last two are good for people of any age:

§  Lying in a position in which the head is lower than the heart can lower blood pressure and help your child become calmer. To do this, a small child can lie stomach down over your knees, with their head hanging downward, while you sit on a sofa. Bigger children can hang over the sofa or over a swing outside. You may have noticed children sometimes seek out this position themselves for a short calming period.

§  Wash your child slowly in warm water.

§  Give your child a warm bath before going to school.

§  Calmly rub the length of your child’s forehead or let your child rub it.

§  Slowly massage your child’s back, legs, and arms with a firm but gentle pressure.

§  Massage the soles of your child’s feet.

§  Make it possible for your child to move if he or she has been sitting still for a long time. Give your child a chore to do—such as watering the plants or getting something for you (the more physical the job is, the better, within reason, of course)—or have your child run back and forth outside for a few minutes, just as a calming down technique.

§  Use calming scents, such as lavender and vanilla.

§  Watch out for food additives to which your child may be oversensitive. Food dyes, chemical smells, taste enhancers, sugar, and other ingredients an provoke oversensitivity that causes bad behavior. Seek expert advice to find out to which foods or additives your child may be oversensitive.

§  Drinking a soft drink through a straw can calm your child.

§  Allow your child to cool off by sucking or chewing on a piece of ice. An ice cube made with juice is appealing.

Giving Directions

Give directions in a structured way:

·        Make sure the environment is calm. Pay attention to the multitude of sounds, colors, brightness, and other factors in the environment that might stimulate or overstimulate your child. If necessary, go to another room before you give your child a command.

·        Breathe slowly.

·        Move and react calmly, speak softly, and lower your voice. Use few words.

·        Break chore assignments into smaller assignments and give one order at a time. Be sure the first part of the order has been carried out before you introduce the next one.

·        React to the chores your child has carried out as you wished them to be done. Do this in a pleasant, positive way: “Thank you for getting your shoes on so quickly. Good job.” Remember that when the orders are not carried out according to your wishes, it is better not to respond. Instead, next time you make the same assignment, think of a better way to structure it so your child can more easily accomplish it. This means success for your child, and you can give praise for a job well done.

Avoiding Injury

The following measures can help prevent injuries:

·        Make sure your child wears a bicycle helmet. Find the safest bicycle routes.

·        As often as necessary, remind your child to use safety precautions and avoid risky activities. Step in, if necessary, to assure this.

·        Be vigilant if your child is involved in risky activities, such as swimming, climbing, going on amusement park rides, or going to a large indoor gym.

·        Keep dangerous products and tools out of the hands of your young child.

·        Young adults with ADHD have to be extra careful when driving. They can listen to soft music, but, of course, they should not use alcohol or drugs. They should not use a cell phone or headphones when driving. Preferably, no other  passengers should be in the car; if someone else must be in the car, make sure that person will act appropriately. In advance of any trip, plan the route carefully with your teenager.

Accommodations and Modifications 

The following chart may be used in several ways. You may use it to identifying which symptoms your child has that interfere with his ability to benefit from his education. Review the list of possible accommodations and modifications and choose those that you feel may be of help to your child. Bring this sheet with you to your meeting as a worksheet when working with your child’s education team.

You can use this worksheet for yourself. Follow the same steps of identifying the symptoms and implementing some of the suggested accommodations and modifications at home. These techniques work anywhere, not just in the classroom. It helps in learning how to execute many of these techniques is easier said than done. Professional guidance can help you fine-tune your skills and allow you to rapidly find success.

Try to select a realistic number of techniques. Try as you might, it would be impossible to do them all! Focus on one to three techniques until you have them solidly in place before adding more. Over time, you will be able to employ many of these techniques to structure how you work with your child and her school work. As she matures, changes from grade to grade, and circumstances change, you will need to modify the techniques you use to fit her level of functioning and her unique home and school situation.

SYMPTOMS	ACCOMODATION/ MODIFICATION
Difficulty sequencing and completing steps to accomplish longer-term projects such as book reports and term papers.	• Break task into small steps. • Provide written step-by-step instructions. • Allow additional time to complete project • Set deadline for each step
Shifting from one uncompleted activity to another.	• Tell exactly what must be done before changing tasks, “you must finish A, then you can start B.” • Praise at completion of each task. • Re-direct to finish incomplete tasks. •Remind what reward awaits at completion.
Difficulty following through on instructions. Seems not to listen when spoken to.	• Gain attention before giving directions. • Use alerting cues before giving directions • Pair oral directions with written directions. • Give one direction at a time. . • Quietly repeat directions to the student. • Have child repeat the directions. • Praise when directions are followed. • Use simple instructions. • Use instruction on exactly what to do and how.
Difficulty prioritizing assignments and tasks.	• Prioritize assignments/tasks for the child. • Provide written list of what to do in order. • Assist child in determining priority. • Praise for appropriate prioritizing.
Difficulty sustaining effort.	• Reduce assignment length. • Grade on accuracy not quantity. • Frequent praise for effort. • Make task interesting • Involve physical activity if possible • Use novelty to increase interest • Remind what reward awaits at completion
Difficulty completing assignments.	• Provide written step-by-step instructions. • Break assignment into small steps. • Assign time for completion of each step. • Make frequent checks during assignment.
Difficulty with test taking.	• Allow extra time to take test. • Provide instruction on test-taking skills. • Allow student to be tested orally. • Allow ample space to write responses.
Difficulty taking notes during classroom instruction and lecture.	• Provide child with a copy of teacher’s notes. • Allow student to share notes with peer. • Allow use of tape recorder. • Teacher to emphasize key points
Easily distracted by extraneous stimuli.	• Praise for paying attention. • Break up activities into small units. • Reward for timely accomplishments. • Use physical proximity and touch. • Use preferential seating to be near teacher. • Remove distractions. • Sit near quiet peer. • Provide quiet place to work if child chooses.
Poor organization and planning.	• Teach organizational skills • Establish weekly notebook checks • Create bin for returning homework. • Give extra credit for neatness. • Allow use of computer instead of writing. • Allow use of wide-lined paper.
Poor handwriting.	• Grade for content, not handwriting. • Allow use of a computer instead of writing. • Allow for voice recognition software. • Allow printing instead of handwriting.
Careless errors and repeated mistakes.	• Prompt student to check work. • Return assignments for child to correct. • Allow credit for corrected errors. • Cue child to look for his common errors. • Allow extra time to check for errors. • Allow study buddy to check for errors.
Takes excessive time to complete homework.	• Allow alternative method to complete homework, e.g. oral presentation, taped report, visual presentation, etc. • Reduce amount of writing required. • Allow for typing. • Allow for voice recognition software. • Reduce amount of assignment. • Set finite time to work on homework. • Grade for mastery of information, not quantity. • Give homework for entire week ahead of time.
Inattentive, daydreaming.	• Gain attention before giving directions. • Prompt child to pay attention. • Prompt child to make eye contact. • Ask child to repeat directions or information. • Actively involve student in lesson. • Make task/assignment interesting. • Remind what reward awaits. • Use physical touch to gain attention. • Get physically close to gain attention. • Physically lower yourself to child’s eye level.
Talkative, disruptive to class, and difficulty working quietly.	• Seat child near teacher. • Catch child being good and praise • Use hand signal to prompt child to remain quiet. • Use behavior chart for remaining in seat. • Use behavior chart for working quietly. • Quietly praise child for being quiet.
Inappropriate seeking of attention.	• Ignore minor misbehavior. • Teach how to obtain attention appropriately. • Praise quickly when child is appropriate. • Use time-out when inappropriate. • Give re-direction of how to behave.
Difficulty making transitions between activities.	• Warn prior to transition. • Post routine of activities on wall. • Assign buddy to accompany child during transitions. • Remind child how to behave during transition.
Difficulty remaining seated and excessively physically active.	• Give frequent opportunities to get out of seat. • Allow space at desk for movement. • Allow standing at desk.
Frequent fidgeting with hands, feet, or objects; squirming in seat.	• Allow movement when possible. • Ignore minor movements. • Prompt for child to sit still. • Praise child for sitting still. • Provide an object to fidget with.
Blurts out answers in class.	• Seat child near teacher. • Prompt child to raise hand. • Prompt child to wait question is finished. • Praise child for raising hand. • Inform student when you will call on him, e.g. “I will call on Mary, then James, and then Cameron you will have your turn.” • Praise student for being patient.
Difficulty waiting turn, intrusive, and interrupts others.	• Prompt student to wait turn. • Praise student when he waits his turn. • Provide empathy about waiting being difficult.
Insistent on getting own way.	• Provide empathy about not getting own way. • Teach appropriate way to get needs met. • Teach child how to compromise. • Set firm limit when child cannot have his way. • Warn of consequence if insistence continues. • Praise when child he accepts not getting his way.
Difficulty using unstructured time on playground, hallways, lunchtime, library time, etc.	• Post rules on classroom wall. • Prompt for exactly what behavior is expected. • Help child select activity ahead of time. • Assign buddy to accompany child. • Define consequences of rule breaking. • Praise appropriate behavior. • Create a reward system for appropriate behavior.
Forgetful.	• Post daily routine on wall • Post rules on wall • Create checklist of “To Do”
Losing things necessary for task or activities at school or at home.	• Help child keep tack of belongings each day. • Daily checking of notebook/backpack for young children. Weekly for older children. • Praise child for keeping track of items. • Provide checklist of items and their location. • Set up child’s notebook, backpack closet, etc. • Color code books, notebooks, flash cards. • Use color coded and labeled bins for items. • Use Velcro sealed plastic pouch for homework.
Poor use of time.	• Use secret signal to prompt child to do work. • Set time line to complete a small assignment. • Frequent praise for working. • Praise completion of work. • Use a timer to “race” against. • Provide reward/privilege when work is complete.